Getting to know myself better

It was not long before when I really thought freaking out and howling around the city late nights is quite an exciting thing to do. Felt like that is the life an youngster should live in order to call him or herself "Kwel". I was not very different from many of my friends in thinking so. I felt like this is one thing which my parents cannot understand and they would never allow me to do. I used to cry around telling that I do not have the freedom to do what I want !!!! Was thinking that given a chance of living alone in any other place away from home along with my friends I would use my FREEDOM to do these kinda things.
And I did get a chance too, I got to live alone with my friends away from home. And know what? I took me almost two long years to even think of using my so called FREEDOM. I felt I was more engaged with other spheres of life and never felt inclined to all that which I always wanted to do at back home.Just a few days back, one of my good friends got a car and now our gals group had the easy liberty to stay late outside. Come weekends, we gals were charged up to do some full time masti and we would not have asked for a better occasion to start with, than our Company's annual fest.Though the fest turned out to be a major flop, we did enjoy in our own way, thanks to the food caterers there who served an early dinner and that was more than enough to leave the place early. We had lots of time in hand and did not wanna go back home soon, this City not being a bad place, had served us a wide platter of hangouts,and in less than 30 minutes we were at a lovely hangout(which everyone keeps talking about) and only after waiting for an hour we got a place to sit. It was already 11 pm and we were kinda sure that the joint would get closed down soon and we would be thrown out but naah, gotto know that it stays open til 4 am in the morning. So we were at ease now, to start with the crowd over there looked good and decent, a few families were there too at that hour of the day, but as time passed, got to see some real " namunas" or "peculiar" kinda people like Guys dressed up like gals with long hair, skimpy clothes and what not, gals were not better too, I started getting a little uncomfortable then , started pondering that, was this something I called fun ?? An hour later the place was getting too obnoxious for us to stay there and we moved away from there speeding towards home, slept for the day and the next day I spent thinking and recalling what all had happened, I wondered why I did not like all this which I always thought I would love.......I could hear an answer somewhere but I was not ready to hear it, so let it get echoed away...................

Soon after a couple of weekends, got to dine out in another "Kwel " place , people called it the most happening place in Hyderabad, the moment I got into it I was welcomed by a splendid aroma or should I call a stink ????? later found that its the smell out of Cigarettes and that made me detest the place, we got a corner table comfortable enough for 4 girls.Ordered some good food and were waiting to hog it down, just then a photographer of a daily clicked a picture of ours and I hoped the least for the pic to come out in the paper next day, soon after we were all set to start enjoying,little did I know am gonna get a major pang of my head because of the smoky atmosphere out there, rushed back to home earlier than expected. That day I did realise a little better about myself that these things are actually nothing to me, this is not something I can call as freedom, this is all scrap, things which most people of a lesser sense and more insecure feel do, who wanna show themselves to the gallery, I am not for it at all. Its not that I cant do all that but jus I do not wanna do it ! So guys lets understand the 'kwel things in life' is not all about hanging around and enjoying haywire, its a lot different and most of us do not realise it until we experience it ourselves.

Do post your comments on this, the best comment of the blog gets a nite out party :-)

My downfalls again ...................

After my downfall during my fifth grade, I never tried much again until I was given the chance to choose my college for my graduation. Having passed out with a pretty decent score of 95 plus. I felt like I had many many options in front of me and felt I can pursue my higher studies in any part of the world. But naah, things are not so easy as they seem to be, I tried my luck in a few colleges in Bangalore like St.Johns Medical college , Islamiah College etc only to know that they had closed their admissions for other states' students ( and this is what they call National Integrity and democracy ). I had to settle down with a college in my hometown which was definitely not a bad place but only that my dream could not get fulfilled. As I was nearing the last days of my engineering study, I made up mind that whatsoever, I would definitely land up with a great IT job in Bangalore, afterall it is the ' Silicon Valley of India '. I planned to prepare to my fullest and sat for several On-campus tests held by the IT majors and finally made through with two companies, one which was into ITES and another with IT. I would have always taken up IT as my career rather than handling calls for some U.S geeks and thanks to my lady luck again, as the IT company I chose had recruited me for their Hyderabad or Chennai location only and the ITES company which I did not choose had its operations in Bangalore, But I was not going to take up defeat and having the liberty in hand of leaving a ITES job without any restrictions, I took up my ITES job to try my luck in Bangalore . But God was not sleeping, how could he allow me to rest in peace in Bangalore??? He made me fail in my final accent training (Accent which means we gotto mime those US jerks as much as we can) inspite of excelling the training class(Miming Class) all the time. I meanwhile even tried my luck in another IT major and passed the inerviews too but alas again I never got my job call still now, and I am still waiting :-).So I had to get back to my preselected and predestined IT job in Hyderabad with ' no looking back' and with a hope that I can always request for a relocation to Bangalore from Hyderabad once when I am done with my initial trainings and let me tell you, its almost two years since the trainings got over and I am still trying, not that I did not get even a single chance for relocation, I did get 17 chances and I and my destiny failed in all of them. You might call it as my locus of control but 17 times is rather too much,makes me remind of history acclaim of Mohammed Ghazini for his 17 attempts too. Every single person who did not wanna go there was made to go but not me, I understood this is called destiny. Can you believe that a city which has more than 10 lakhs IT employees cant accomodate a single soul of mine? I sometimes think it is this craze and craving for the city which keeps me away but I must admit my craving just does not lessens anyday and having my most loved ones in the city which includes my family and my special friend :-0 ) I just cant stop looking back and forward for any chance of my relocation to Bangalore.

Now I have redefined my dreams a little more, Now I plan to marry a guy who is a Bangalorean and I am hoping to settle in there atleast that way. Mom and Dad , are you listening????..................:-) :-)

Bangalore---What is that which connects me so much wit that place???

Everything I Do, I do it for you !, This is how the famous song of Byran Adams goes for his lady love and mine goes the same way for my love of Bangalore(aka Bengalooru), India's most fashionable and happening city.Just coz its "happening" and "cool" it does not make me say thats a lovely city but I have my own reasons for it.You would not believe how happy and crazy I go, when I am in Bangalore and you would not believe that my love for that city is far beyond the limits. Given a chance to leave my job (a Software Engineer in one the most reputed MNC of Hyderabad) I would run and get back to MY WORLD !

Here goes my story...............I first cried on 24th January 1983 in SDA hospital,Bangalore.I guess I would have first opened my eyes on my granny's lap as she was the first 'mom' to me. My association with Bangalore started right from then. I went on to spend almost two years there in my Grandma's place and finally had to move to my paternal city of Coimbatore for my ' living ', I am sure I would have brought the heavens down that day. Life rolled on like that until I was doing my fifth grade (circa 1993) when I first felt that my nativity yearned to belong from Bangalore rather than Coimbatore where I was brought up and lived most of my life.My little brain then decided to make a big hue and cry during the summer holidays and propose my "BIG time PLAN" to pursue my rest of schooling from Bangalore and I cried as much I could to make my parents take an initiative towards my stubborn ideas and know what??? I succeeded in my deed too, my parents had to admit, that my staying there would not be a bad idea.It was all decided and done and I was supposed to start my sixth grade in another two days, I was really excited and happy thinking how enjoyable life would be living with a lienent grandma rather than a strict mom but alas,my happy days were not for too long as my paternal ancestors did not like the funda of me growing up in a "spoilt and rash" place like Bangalore and I had to get back to Coimbatore. So this was the first downfall for me and my idea to stay in bangalore.

Will tell you more in my next blog,next week until then keep waiting and pray that I get back to Bangalore soon :-) :-)