Having asked this question myself several times, I am now wanting a discussion to know what comes before, your career or your family? especially if you are a woman...
My career was doing great exactly at the juncture when I got married, my long leaves and other familial responsibilities, soon robbed the flying colors of my career cap from me. I was put into a workpool and just when I was about to get myself a lift, I discovered that my hubby wanted to pursue his dream of being an entrepreneur all the more and due to some physical and monetarial constraints, his business had to be pursued from his native small town alone which meant I would have to give up my job in this metro city of mine and I do not want to live a marital life with the pillars of marriage living miles apart, so I will have to relocate...
Anyways, I was not ready to buy this idea of giving up my job at all, not only me but my entire family along with a few from his family were aghast to know this and were ready to support me, I tried hard to convince my hubby in many ways, but his soul and heart was so immersed in his dream, that he would not let it go away and slowly when I started listening to his words, I felt confident about his dream too though skeptical a bit and yet to decide what should I do and when..
Just a few hours ago one of my best work buddies was telling her tale too, she was getting married later this month and had to settle in a foreign city where my company did not have a office to work and she will soon have to quit her job and it was just last week when her boss asked her if she could replace his post as he was getting engaged with some other work... what a timing ??? She had dreamt of such a role through out her life and just before it was getting true, she had break it into pieces with her own hands...as she had to prioritise her family and marital life ahead of her career...
I wonder why it happens in almost every woman's life...I wonder how easily can someone throw up a career for someone else... no matter how close the relation is??
Can someone help me on this one?
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5 comments:
Hi saira,
It was really interesting to read your blog,the truth is really simply.You can either persue your job Carrier or family Carrier.Most of the time I introspect before giving advices to others.Since you have mentioned about females let me take my mother for example.Though my mom was born in a very wealthy family,she was married to my dad who was from very normal background.This question was always there in my house when I was young but since there were much obligations and commitments before them,my mother continued work even though my dad was posted in many places and he would be always comming down to meet us every weekends.At last they brought me up so well,gave me the best possible education and a lavish life style.Now my mom works no more as you know,even now she has so many offers to return to work.She thinks now that she needs to spend more time with my dad and move religiously in life from now on.She wants live a life complete,not just after money and designation always.Though this sounds un real in these days but it is true.So what I think is necessity is mother of invention.So if there is a necessity for money for running your family this question would not be there at all.,since it is not that much important you can think of doing something from his native or coimbatore which is more viable for both of you.
Matter of priorities. I personally feel there is only one top most priority, its not shared.So there shouldn't be any confusion either ways:-)
@Arun: I have started thinking on the same lines as you have mentioned.
@Viji: well, I am not able to decide which is the top most priority in life and hence the confusion
I guess its the family.....
I may sound like a chauvinist ..but the 'Dharma' of a lady is her family...and thats the reason why Mother is held in high esteem in our society.
You can very well get yourself engaged at his native/Coimbatore..and also your vital inputs will also enhance his entrepreneurial venture.
Hi Saira,
I am pretty much in the same situation. I left my good job at Infosys coz I need to relocate to Mumbai after marriage and Infy is not in that place.
I had a discussion with one of my boss and she was saying that more and more good people are leaving everything they had built up in their career for the family.
Its always girls who need to make the sacrifice and never the other way!! What to do, we have to accept it....
by the way, what was your final decision on your job?
Regards,
Geetha
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